Skip to Content

Why Women Love BBC: Big Black Cock in the swinger lifestyle

Why Women Love BBC Big black cock in the swinger lifestyle

BBC is a subject of conversation in many swinger forums. Many swinger women seek out BBC (Big Black Cock) at the exclusion of everything else and their husbands and boyfriends support them. So let’s take a look at why women love BBC in the swinger lifestyle.

If you are the male half of a couple considering an encounter with some BBC men, be sure to check out the “Important Note to Male Swingers” section for info on gaining confidence in your sexual performance and penis size.

So What Is BBC?

Most of us know that BBC stands for Big Black Cock but what does that really mean in the swinging lifestyle. What makes a man a BBC? Like many things in the swinger lifestyle, the specific aspects of a BBC encounter can vary widely and the definitions are very loose.

For those in the swinger lifestyle, BBC refers to a single Black man who has sex with swinger women. This sex could happen in a number of different venues including swinger clubs, swinger resorts, swinger house parties, and even one-on-one encounters.

The type of sexual encounters can vary quite significantly as well. A BBC encounter could be a gangbang, a threesome with the woman’s normal partner, or even an encounter with just the BBC man and the woman. The BBC term does not describe the activities of the encounter but rather who the encounter is with.

So What Is BBC?

As far as the “Big” part of BBC there does not seem to be a consensus on what the size requirement is to be considered BBC. Some say that the actual size of the guy doesn’t matter, some say it has to be at least 7″ plus or 8″+. Some even claim 10″+ but I am pretty sure that they have no idea how big and rare 10″ really is.

So really the only thing that seems to be universally agreed on is the Black part of BBC.

So what is the general consensus of what BBC is?

In general, though, I can say that the most generally accepted definition of BBC in the swinger world is that this term refers to a single Black man that is at least 7″ in length. These men are looking for white women swingers for mostly gangbangs or one-on-one encounters sometimes with the partner of the woman watching.

These men tend to be extremely confident and dominant though they are usually very respectful. The average age at swinger events tends to be the late 20s to early 30s though we have encountered many great BBC men that are older.

Why Women Love BBC

Why Women Love BBC

There are a number of reasons why women love BBC and they can be different from woman to woman. I have talked to many women about this and can tell you that there are numerous reasons and a lot of women will answer with something like “I just like them”.

Some women like the big penis aspect of it. There is that perception that Black men have a larger penis on average than other men. I am not sure about the truth of this if you are looking at all Black men in general but can say if you look at the Black men in the swinger lifestyle the large penis size generalization seemed to be true.

Many swinger women tend to prefer larger penises and swinger men in general tend to have a larger penis size than the general population. The Black men that claim to be BBC are even larger than that on average. See The Truth About Swinger Penis Size for more info.

Another reason that is commonly given is that these Black men are just confident and dominant in the sack. Women love confidence without arrogance and the men in this lifestyle seem very confident. You have to be confident to put yourself out there at these swinger events and feel that women are going to be interested.

The swinger lifestyle is dominated by middle-aged white couples so a lot of these women say that it is the color contrast that gets them going. A lot have been mostly with white men their whole lives and the BBC man is just different. After all, the swinger lifestyle is all about trying new things.

My wife states that she sometimes likes BBC because she likes big penises and she likes darker skin. In regards to the Black part, she likes men with brown skin. It is just a preference like enjoying blue eyes or red hair.

She finds men with brown skin to be attractive. It is not the only thing she looks and she has found black men, brown men, and white men attractive. But all else being equal she prefers a brown-skinned man with a big dick.

Another reason, that many give in their preference for BBC is that they still look at it as being slightly taboo. You would think we would be beyond it in this day and age but they still look at sleeping with a Black man as being something naughty and therefore exciting.

Whatever the reason, if you attend any swinger events you will see that the BBC men get a lot of attention from the ladies and are very popular if someone is looking to add a single man to the equation.

So How Big Is A BBC Penis?

So How Big Is A BBC Penis?

A question that people often ask is how big these BBC guys actually are. There can be quite a bit of variation but the truth is that they can be quite big but maybe not as big as you think.

We frequent a lot of swinger events, clubs, and resorts. While at these places, we have seen thousands of naked men including those who identify as BBC men. Sometimes at the resort hot tubs and sometimes having fun in the swinger playrooms. Additionally, we have had a few threesomes with BBC men. I like to say that we have seen more cock than most urologists.

Additionally, my wife and I consider ourselves penis-size experts. When we first got into the lifestyle, I was really worried about my penis size and constantly asked her questions until I did something about it. You can check out our sister site, TheMonsterSite, where I detail my journey to finding real penis enlargement.


After all of our experience, we would estimate that the average guy classifying himself as BBC is between 7 1/2″ to 8″ which is significantly larger than the global average which in legitimate studies runs 5.2″ to 5.75″ depending on which study you look at.

We would estimate that the largest guy we have ever seen (and she had to play with to verify) was probably right around 10″ and he was an absolute monster. Any people you see claiming 12″ or 14″ are full of crap.

So while most BBC men are quite large it is not as large as many claim. I am a legit 8.25″ (measure along the top from the pubic bone to tip) and most find this huge. Guys getting 10″+ are measuring along the side or the bottom in which case you can easily add an inch or two to your measurement.

What Type Of BBC Encounters Are There?

What Type Of BBC Encounters Are There?

Once again it varies greatly but there are a few different types of BBC encounters that people experience. Some of the major types of encounters are Cuckolding, Stag/Vixen, and swinger threesomes. These terms can be rather fluid and everyone has varying definitions but this is how I see these terms in the swinger world.

These are all different lifestyle choices and it is important to communicate what your dynamic is before getting involved with a BBC man. Failure to do so can lead to disappointment and even bad feelings from an encounter.


Cuckolding with BBC men

This is the one that we are least familiar with but basically, cuckolding involves the partner of the woman being humiliated to some degree during the BBC encounter. It is generally considered to be a type of kink and often involves the male partner being humiliated due to his penis size or sexual prowess when compared to the BBC partner.

While not the majority of BBC encounters, this is not uncommon so I think it is important to be sure that everyone is on the same page when it comes to this. If it is what you are looking for be sure to let the BBC man know ahead of time as some do not feel comfortable doing this.

If you are not into this, it is important to make sure you communicate this ahead of time to eliminate any chance of misunderstanding. I always let a BBC man know that we are not into this because if it happened I would be very upset and would just end things.

This type of encounter could be with a single BBC man or a group of BBC men.


Stag/Vixen with BBC men

This is a slightly more common type of BBC encounter. In the Stag/Vixen encounter, the male part of the couple is not into the humiliation aspect at all. The couple is looking for the female half to have a great sexual encounter with the BBC man.

In the Stag/Vixen dynamic, the male half of the couple is not participating in the sexual encounter. He may watch or may not even be there. This gives the female half and the BBC man to interact freely with each other.

After the encounter, the Stag (the male half of the couple) will often have sex with the Vixen (the female half). This is often referred to as reclaiming. This dynamic is probably the most common type of BBC encounter in the swinger circles that we travel in.

From the BBC swingers I have talked to, this is probably their preferred type of encounter. This type of encounter could be with a single BBC man or a group of BBC men.

Swinger threesome with BBC men

Swinger threesome with BBC men

This is probably the least common type of BBC encounter but is where my wife and I usually find ourselves. This is when the couple has an MFM threesome (both men only sexually interact with the woman) or an MMF threesome (everyone sexually interacts).

Once again it is important to communicate your preferences. We only do MFM encounters as that is our preference but we communicate this ahead of time to make sure there is no confusion. You do not want anyone expecting or doing something that is going to cause a misunderstanding.

We love this type of interaction as my wife gets to experience new things while I get to experience her at her sexiest, hottest, and horniest.

Some BBC men do not like this type of encounter so not all will be into it. Some like the male partner totally out of the way so that they can do their thing. A little pre-emptive communication goes a long way in these situations.

What The Male Partner Gets Out Of A BBC Encounter

What The Male Partner Gets Out Of A BBC Encounter

What the male partner gets out of the BBC encounter is a feeling of satisfaction from providing an incredible sexual experience for their partner.

If the female partner is excited by the idea of a BBC encounter, then why not make her fantasies come true? Life is short and difficult so if you can do something that adds some excitement then you should do it.

There are also selfish reasons why I love a good BBC MFM threesome with my wife. My wife is great at oral sex but on those occasions when she is performing on me while getting nailed by a BBC it goes to a whole new level.

Usually, I can last forever but when she gets going with her eyes rolling back in her head I am done in minutes. The best part is in this situation she just swallows it down and keeps going like nothing happened. It is a truly incredible thing.

You get to experience this and still walk away feeling like you did something special for her.

Pro Tip: Finding Your BBC Encounter

Pro Tip:  Meeting Other Swingers At Minglers Club Daytona Florida

So if you have decided that you want to spice up your life with a BBC sexual encounter how do you find the right guy and situation?

There are a couple of online sites that swingers use to find a great BBC match. These sites are SLS (SwingLifestyle) and AFF (Adult Friend Finder). We use these sites to meet other swinger couples and even the occasional single male that we hook up with at the swinger clubs, swinger resorts, and sometimes just on our own.

What we actually do is make some connections ahead of time before going on our trips. This helps to increase our chances of finding compatible swingers.

SLS (SwingLifeStyle)


SLS is by far the biggest and most popular website to find out about swinger events and find what is available for the swinger encounters that you desire. This is the website where swinger resorts, swinger clubs, and swinger house parties post all of their events.

If you are looking for a BBC encounter, just search for clubs or house parties that mention BBC or single men in their description. If single men are allowed at the event, you are sure to find some BBC men among them. You can search in your area or in whatever area you are traveling to.

This website is free to join and check out but you will need to upgrade to use all of the messaging functions. SLS (SwingLifestyle) is a must for swingers who will be attending events and is the number one site I would recommend.

Adult Friend Finder


Adult Friend Finder is quite different than SLS (SwingLifestyle). It is more geared toward making individual connections with other swingers and not meeting others at events or clubs. AFF users tend to post a lot more public pictures. We use AFF to set up both event meetups and one-on-one dates with Indiana Swingers outside of organized events.

A great feature of AFF is that you can search by ethnicity so this can be a great way to find your BBC man for your encounter. Just search for single Black men in your area or whatever area you may be traveling to and you will be sure to find some men that will fit what you are looking for.

Important Note To Men Considering the Swinger Lifestyle

One major disadvantage of the swinger lifestyle for men is our fears and insecurities. We are supposed to be tough and fear nothing but we have a lot of fears when we are thinking about being in a situation where we may be compared to other men.

These fears on the part of the men can truly limit our ability to accept situations that will truly stimulate our female partners. When you are no longer insecure, you are free to let your partner experience new things that will take your sex life to a whole new level.

When my wife and I first started in the swinger lifestyle, we found all kinds of articles dealing with the fears and insecurities of women but very little for men. I found that with many swinger couples, the woman has the confidence and the swinger drive while the man has major worries that hold him back.

So what steps did I take to gain the confidence to succeed at swinger clubs and events?

Sexual Performance in the Swinger Lifestyle

The Phoenix device is our top-rated product to improve sexual performance.

Having fun in the swinger lifestyle is hard when you are worried about your sexual performance. This was a problem that I had at one point. The libido was there and I wanted to perform but it was not as easy to get it up as it was when I was younger.

If you have any concerns about your sexual performance, check out this article on at-home acoustic wave therapy. The Hollywood elite has used this type of revolutionary treatment for years. The Phoenix Device let me perform like a porn star and gave me the confidence for the swinger lifestyle.


Penis Size and the Swinger Lifestyle

Like many men, I had always been worried about my penis size. When my wife wanted to get involved in the swinger lifestyle, my penis size anxiety increased. In the swinger lifestyle and especially at clothing-optional events, you will encounter a much larger average penis size than what you may find in the general public. These men just have the confidence to let it all hang out.

Check out The Truth About Swinger Penis Size for information on this delicate subject. What is the average swinger’s penis size, does penis size matter to swingers, how to make your penis appear bigger, and how to make your penis bigger (yes, this is scientifically possible with a little catch).

If you are truly worried about penis size, you can try out the Total Man System. This is a proven system that I used to make significant penis size gains.